How I Found My Voice as an Introvert

In this story originally shared at WCF 2022, Rhonda Bettis (Retail Director, SVP at Citizens Bank) reveals how she overcame crippling shyness, found her voice, and learned the power of introspection. 

I was an introvert surrounded by strangers. 

As a young woman, I moved to the United States from the small island of Trinidad and Tobago. I was alone without my parents or siblings and needed to find a way to support myself. But, there was one problem. This big, new country scared me.

I was socially awkward, I lacked confidence in myself, and I was an introvert now entirely surrounded by strangers. I barely made eye contact when I spoke to people. Every interaction required energy and drained me mentally and physically.

Despite my anxiety and shyness, I have always been a dreamer. And, as a dreamer, I knew I had to push myself out of my comfort zone. So, I signed up for a Banking School program. 

My first step outside of my comfort zone.

After the program, I quickly obtained an internship at a local bank where I sat in the back with another intern and counted large amounts of cash all day. I had limited interactions with people and a safe place to hide away. I was great at it! 

So good that within two weeks, I was offered a full-time teller job.

On my first day, I forced myself to make eye contact, participated in awkward small talk, and pretended to have interest in what my customers were saying. I did all of this while trying not to pass out from the fear I felt every time someone approached my window. 

Even though the pressure I felt was unbelievable, the customers liked me and I balanced to the penny at the end of the first day. I was beyond relieved as I walked out of the branch. When I got home, I went straight to the bathroom, cried, and threw up. All of the nervous energy I held in the entire day finally showed its face. 

I did the same thing every day for the first week. Each day, I pushed myself to talk and engage just a little more with my customers. Then, one day, I didn’t throw up.

Whoever said,  “fake it until you make it,” was speaking to me. I faked it every day! I imitated confidence and competence and learned a valuable life lesson. It is okay to be afraid, but never give in to that fear.

I learned that I need to use my voice to advocate for myself and the people I love.

Over the years, I continued to find ways to cope with being painfully shy and settled into my professional life as an introvert. But then, I faced a personal challenge that forced me to conquer my shyness once again.

I am the mother of two beautiful girls. I noticed early on that one of my daughters was not flourishing in the classroom, but, no matter how many times I raised concerns with the school, no one would listen to me. 

The school continued to justify their decisions about my daughter and dismissed me. After a few polite conversations that fell on deaf ears, I found my voice and demanded more. I kept moving up the chain of command and demanded what I wanted to see for my child. 

Prior to some of these meetings, I would stand in front of a mirror and practice what I wanted to say and how I wanted it to come across. I would stand tall and stare straight ahead at myself in the mirror to ensure I was prepared to hold my ground and communicate with confidence and credibility. I would say positive affirmations and offer myself grace. I knew my voice mattered and I decided I would not allow anyone to convince me otherwise.

Finally, I got it. My baby now had the opportunity she deserved to grow and flourish. The situation taught me that I need to use my voice to advocate for myself and the people I love.

And, I would need that lesson again soon.

I’ve been blessed to work with some amazing leaders who took personal interest in me and my growth. They saw things in me that I did not always see in myself. This level of support landed me the opportunity to work with an Executive that was the polar opposite of me. 

I was warned against accepting the opportunity by so many who vowed they would never work for this particular leader. But, it was a growth opportunity for me, so I dismissed what I heard from others. I thought there was no way that all of the horrible things I heard could be accurate. I assumed it was a case of personality conflicts and a bit of exaggeration. I was wrong. 

This executive led through intimidation and fear. One day, he spoke to me in a way that both humiliated and shocked me. 

Afterwards, I had a “mirror moment” with myself and tried to figure out what could have caused his outburst. It was one of the first times since my 20’s that I went home and cried because of my job. I remember trying my best to hide how I was feeling from my then teenage daughters. When I went to bed that night, I reflected on all of the warnings I received prior to starting. I knew that if I did not address this unacceptable behavior, it would continue. 

I hated how I felt and decided no one would ever make me feel that way again. I knew that if I did not address the issue, I would be doing myself wrong. I would never want my girls to believe that it was acceptable for any person to disrespect or diminish them. I decided I needed to set the right example.

That night I could not sleep. I was nervous and knew what was at stake. I was going to confront a tenured executive, who created fear and was allowed to engage as he chose. I was the quiet, new person on the team who was junior to him. I knew this could be detrimental to my career, but I also knew that my own self-respect required me to confront him. 

The next day, I set boundaries, demanded mutual respect, and ensured clarity on what would and would not be acceptable. I shook as I left his office that day—uncertain what the downstream impact would be for my career. 

Unexpectedly, I earned the respect and trust of that very senior leader that day. 

I became a confidant and one of the few people who was able to candidly provide feedback to him. It surprised so many when they saw this seemingly quiet person was able to so quickly gain the trust of this tenured leader.

I learned so much from that interaction. It forced me to look at people and leadership differently. I learned that it is important to have “mirror moments” with myself to ensure I understand the role I played in any situation. It taught me to look past the noise and “bigger than life personalities” that some leaders possess. I saw how much authenticity and directness are respected. 

The relationship I formed with this leader and those around him organically led me to create relationships that helped continue to propel my career.

I am a proud introvert. 

Introverts can sometimes be defined as shy and reticent people. These characteristics can be perceived as limiting, but only if we allow them to be limiting. Being an introvert has its complexities as you navigate your career, find your voice, strive to build a strong brand, and work to achieve your professional and personal goals. 

What is not complex is recognizing your gifts, doing what’s right, and being true to yourself. To do all of those things, you must have the courage to share your voice, be direct, and identify opportunities when they present themselves.

The lessons I’ve learned have helped define the leader and woman I choose to be today. I choose to be a leader who is an authentic and proud introvert. I believe the best is yet to come as I continue to learn, grow, and stretch myself beyond the limits of what I thought was possible in my life and my career.

Hear more career stories like Rhonda’s at Women in Consumer Finance 2024! This year we’ll be in Fort Worth from November 11-13 for 3 days of connection, inspiration, and career development. Join us there.